I’ve been blogging since 2007. That’s the year I started Deepish Thoughts, a site to keep friends and family up to date on my life, as well as on the bizarre and hilarious things Rob said. Which were many. When Scarlett was born in 2010, I shifted my attention to The Scarlett Letters, where I posted pictures and wrote to her about her life. And now, obviously, I’ve moved here to record my thoughts and experiences living with ALS.

I can’t keep up with two blogs, let alone three, so each time a new blog is introduced, an old one gets ignored. Or, let’s say it gets its wings, because that just sounds nicer. The blogs mark everything significant that has happened in my life over the course of more than seven years. Engagement, marriage, cross-country move, baby. The death of my beloved Papa, my dear brother-in-law, and several pets. It’s just a life, like any other. But I’m glad, now more than ever, that I chronicled it.

My story, with its unexpected trajectory, might make some people sad. But not me. I look back at those old posts and sometimes I just laugh. As I read about the traveling I’ve done, I find that I’m not mourning the loss of my abilities. Instead, I’m feeling insanely lucky to have seen so many different places. It appears that my past—at least the past I’ve chosen to document, and this is an important distinction—makes me happy. Though I’m not proud of all of it.

It’s interesting to look back at the old blog posts and realize that there are some definite parallels between life before ALS and life after. For example, this whole thing about ALS keeping me from showering…it turns out that skipping showers was an issue mentioned numerous times in old posts, long before I had physical trouble with the act of bathing. SO BUSTED.

But mostly, the differences are pretty stark. In October 2008, Rob and I were on our honeymoon—zipping around Italy from town to town: hiking in Pompei, shopping in Florence, bar hopping through Venice, and taking two separate routes through Rome to see who could walk back to our hotel faster. I don’t remember who won, but since I’m in charge here, let’s say it was me. I have shorter legs, but I probably cheated by running.

In October 2010, we had a 7-month-old baby and I went back to work for a New York publishing house, from the yoga-pants-and-unbrushed-hair comfort of my own home in San Francisco. Back then, I wrote about the end of maternity leave—how it certainly was not the end of motherhood, but felt like a big, significant change for my relationship with Scarlett.

October of 2012 was when I announced my ALS diagnosis to the Internet. It was intimidating, but ultimately a relief to finally share such a major thing that had been going on in our lives. And now it’s October 2014, and life just keeps changing, in ways that would have been unimaginable to that girl who started a blog all those years ago with a story about singing karaoke beside her goofy, wonderful friends.

I’m not including all of these links to suggest that you go back and read seven years worth of blog posts. Whoa. Do NOT do that. I guess I just thought it would be weird to reference these moments, still alive online, without providing their location, in case, for example, you want to read more about some of Rob’s past ridiculousness. Like this. And this.

I wish I could still keep up with all the blogs. But I’m glad to have this particular place to share my thoughts, and maybe it won’t be the last. Maybe ALS will become history, and this blog will get its wings.

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