Car Talk

Yesterday, our van broke. Scarlett had just finished her first gymnastics class, and we were all loaded up and ready to rush back to school, so that I could meet Rob for our parent-teacher conference. Everything seemed fine at first. The ramp folded up, but then the sliding door refused to close. After ten minutes of trying—and growing increasingly late for our meeting—I decided we would just drive with the door partially open.

Scarlett was nervous that the police were going to pull us over, but I was mostly concerned with the constant high-pitched screeching that accompanied us for the four-mile ride. At a stop light, the man in the next car leaned over, and said, “Your door is open.”

“We know,” I nodded, too annoyed by the ringing in my ears to muster up a smile. That was when Scarlett decided to see if she could make the exact noise the car was making. It turned out she could.

There are two reasons that it is not ok for the van to break:

1. It cost more than any car I have ever owned. When you buy a mobility vehicle, you pay the MSRP plus $25K for the conversion. There’s no negotiating; they know they’ve got you. It’s like when you’re stuck at a baseball stadium or the zoo and you have to pay their ridiculous prices or go hungry. Or it would be like that if nachos cost $70K.



1a. So the van should not break. In fact, it should give back rubs.


2. We take good care of our stupid, expensive van, even though it is basically just a pile of plastic pieces that Scarlett and her friends could have glued together in the shape of a car. That is why it’s been back to Honda twice in the past week for service. It needed an oil change, and while the kind mechanics were working on it, they noticed that there was grease dripping from the outer right CV boot. Don’t ask me what that means. I’m just the messenger here. 



2a. Have I mentioned that this van is only a little more than 6 months old?

When we arrived at school, Rob and my assistant Juan worked together to finally jam the door closed, and now the van totally works, as long as someone stands next to it and uses all the power in their shoulder to slam the door shut.

Given this development, I wasn’t planning to go anywhere today. But it’s really nice out, plus we’re watching my sister’s dog for a few days, so my assistant Rochelle and I headed to the dog park this morning with Rigby, a mid-sized yellow herding dog with leash aggressive tendencies.

With that kind of build-up, I’m almost wishing something dramatic had happened at the park. But Rigby was fine, I was happy to be out, and Rochelle got a shoulder workout from the van.

Scarlett is so excited that we’re dog sitting. She and Rigby have a difference of opinion on their relationship. Scarlett thinks they’re best friends, and kept up a running commentary, including a tour of our home, for Rigby’s first two hours with us. Rigby is overwhelmed by Scarlett’s enthusiasm, and chose to stick closely to Rob, who is the quietest—and therefore safest—member of our family.

It’s fun having Rigby around. I can do absolutely nothing to help take care of her, but right now, she’s resting by my wheels, tired from her morning activities and likely relieved that the small, chatty person is at school. Her water bowl is full, there are squirrels outside, and life seems pretty good.

Rob and Scarlett would both like to get a dog. I say maybe. But if we can get one that knows how to fix cars, I’m definitely in.

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7 thoughts on “Car Talk

  1. Mishmac

    You’re so cute. I learned today that your dad taught my brother at OPRFHS and that he also knows your brother. Of course I came to your blog via Cathy Sisco, my OPRF 88 bud, so the news of these additional connections shouldn’t surprise me…. Sadly, I learned of this because my brother’s friend’s mom might have ALS. :( ((

    Anyway, love the writing! Just what I would expect from a product of OPRFHS!

  2. kristen mcchristian

    That stinks about the van. Vans should give back rubs. And, they should give chocolate. Dogs are the best- enjoy Rigby!

  3. Barbara Horwitz-Bennett

    You have such a great sense of humor! Though your frustration is real, you convey it in such a comical, entertaining way. I can imagine that your ability to laugh at life is a great asset.

  4. Jane

    Your stories are always so entertaining; I look forward to them. :)

    I have an elderly Pekingese with leash aggression. Come to think of it, she’s that way unleashed too. I guess she’s just aggressive.

    Stories of your daughter remind me of mine. Stories of how you handle her remind me that not everyone sucks at motherhood (I mostly go mental when my child screeches and it seems to shut her up while she wonders if I’ll really drive the car off a bridge as I warn).

    I vote you guys get a dog (’cause a stranger’s vote counts, right ;) They’re awesome and sweet and funny and have a love/tolerate relationship with kids, but kids get an amazing buddy who listens to and understands no matter what. It’s a great thing, even when they run away into the woods with wild abandon while you stand in the doorway clad in a nighshirt, screaming at them to come back. Or maybe that’s just my dog.

  5. Bruce

    If you get a dog try a a toy or minature poodle. No shedding, no dander and very smart. Also very cuddly for everyone.

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