“You have been my friend,” replied Charlotte. “That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what’s a life, anyway? We’re born, we live a little while, we die. A spider’s life can’t help being something of a mess, with all this trapping and eating flies. By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone’s life can stand a little of that.”
—Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White

Scarlett and I read Charlotte’s Web together over the course of a few days. I wasn’t sure she’d be into it, but she loved the story of Wilbur, the runty baby pig who was rescued and bottle-fed by a little farm girl, and how he then met a spider who became his best friend and saved his life.

Scarlett was also very interested towards the end of the book, when I burst into tears while reading about Charlotte’s death. She curled up in my lap when it was over, and I could see her trying to squeeze out a few tears, too. But then she said, “I want to go look at the Christmas presents.”

That was fine. I was glad she wasn’t traumatized by the book. You never know what’s going to happen when these small people are feeling emotional. We watched The Princess and the Frog recently, and she sobbed for 30 minutes after the movie was over, because of the surprising death of one of the characters.

But this run-up to the holidays has been an interesting time in our house. We have a big family, and there are a lot of presents under our tree. Scarlett doesn’t really understand the concept behind Christmas, and sees it as an opportunity to amass as many things as possible. For days, I’ve been hearing “I WANT” and “IT’S NOT FAIR.” It’s driving me crazy.

We’ve talked about the holiday as a time for togetherness, a time to appreciate what we have and to give to others who are less fortunate. But she’s four. She doesn’t get it yet. Plus, our family, including her awesome older cousin, is here and she’s beyond excited. Her ears don’t work well when she gets like this.

When I was in high school, I was part of a youth group that spent Christmas days volunteering at a soup kitchen. To me, that made the day infinitely more special than it would have been otherwise. Helping others, instead of just sitting around unwrapping gift after gift, made me feel good. It lifted up my life a trifle. See how I turned that around and made it about me? It’s a skill.

I thought in a few years, maybe we’d start doing that with Scarlett. Maybe we would change the way we look at the holiday, since at the moment, it really is about pajamas around the tree and stockings full of stuff. That’s ok—wonderful even. But as her sense of this season evolves, I look forward to the time when it’s doing for others that makes her feel happy and good, not just counting how many of her gifts were Frozen-related.

Looking around my house, I am struck by what we have. The most important part, of course, being the people inside. I don’t want any more things, (and in fact, would love to throw some of our existing ones away.) Christmas, to me—and now more than ever—is about appreciating the time that I have. Even if that time is currently being spent explaining to my daughter that owning only two Elsa dolls isn’t quite the definition of unfair.

We’ll get there. Together, I hope. This life, it is a tremendous thing. I guess in that way, I can understand just wanting more.

If you’d like to lift up your life a trifle, please consider a donation to ALS TDI, rated 4 Stars by Charity Navigator. Merry Christmas, everyone!

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