Last week I wrote about being sad, and I got some great responses from people who could empathize and sympathize. My favorites were the people who assured me that their kids are diabolical candy sneaks, which absolutely made me feel better because it’s nice to know that some things are near universal. So today I thought I would write about something else that is pretty universal, and that is the difficulty of being married to another human person. Rob and I have all the normal arguments that you might expect from a couple who has been together for 11 years. But we also have the arguments that stem from ALS and the way that it has thoroughly changed our dynamic.

Take teeth brushing for example. This simple act can start a war in our house. I want Rob to understand that the backs of my teeth need to be brushed. He claims he does understand that, and insists that he brushed them. But he didn’t. And so here we are, me not wanting my teeth brushed by someone else, him not wanting to brush someone else’s teeth. And both of us annoyed with each other, because yet again it didn’t go well. I can see his point. He is not the kind of person who enjoys being criticized when he’s trying to help. Is anyone that kind of person? I still want clean teeth. We are at an impasse, and so we begin hurling our strongest ammunition, going in for the kill.

Rob calls me a Dementor, the soul sucking happiness destroyers from the Harry Potter series. I give him points for creativity, but I am sort of extra annoyed because he knows that I consider myself more of a Professor McGonagall type. Read More>