Tag Archives: feeling philosophical

Don’t Cry for Me

“I don’t ask for your pity, but just for your understanding—not even that—no. Just for some recognition of me in you, and the enemy, time, in us all.” —Tennessee Williams, Sweet Bird of Youth

This weekend, my family and I went to the Bridge School Benefit concert. It’s a show put on by Neil and Pegi Young to raise money for the school that Pegi co-founded in 1985 to meet the needs of their developmentally disabled child. During the show, children from the school sit on the stage, and there are videos throughout to show some of their stories, as well as snippets of daily life at this incredible institution. I’ve been to the show at least 5 times, but this year, I watched the videos with a different perspective.

In the past, I have felt sadness and awe as I watched. Some of these children are severely disabled. Their families are clearly doing all that they can to give them the best lives possible, and the kids are shown smiling and learning, working hard. It’s honorable work, from all involved, and not easy, I’m sure. Still, by viewing their stories the way that I was—with pity—I now feel that I’ve been missing the point. Read More>

|Categories: Life, Relationships | Tags: , , | Permalink

Wising Up

Rob is out of town again. It should be fine, since he barely travels for work anymore, but even once a month makes me anxious. I think it’s more the build-up to the trip that I dread than the trip itself. It’s easier when he’s here, because we have an understanding, a way of managing my illness, our daughter, our schedules. When he’s gone, I worry that it will all fall apart. But it never does. I have plenty of help, including family who traveled to be here this week.

Last night, Scarlett climbed into my bed. “Daddy isn’t here and I get to sleep with you!” She had the beginnings of a cold all day, but it wasn’t until night that they blossomed into full-on congested coughs, snorts and sneezes. Neither of us slept, and now she’s home from school, watching My Little Pony: Equestria Girl. As an aside: this movie is TERRIBLE. I tried to turn it off, but she begged to keep watching and I gave in. It’s 9:30am, we’ve already read six books and had a dance party (she spun, I laughed.) About an hour ago, I began to wonder why I didn’t just send her to school. Then she started hacking in my face, and I remembered. Read More>

|Categories: Age, Life, Parenting, Progression, Vanity, Venting | Tags: , , , | Permalink

Life and the Weather

Scarlett started her third and final year of preschool last week. Rob and I both brought her to the first day, like we have done every year, and took pictures in front of the building. What could provide a starker realization of how much my illness has changed our lives than images of my daughter growing up each year, while I become more disabled?

The first year, when she was two, I drove her to school and walked her into class, wearing flats to avoid tripping, but without any real difficulty. The next year, she was three, getting so much taller and talking all the time. I pushed a walker into the classroom, watched her play, and kissed her goodbye.

This year, I was the mom in the wheelchair. Read More>

|Categories: Life, Meditation, Parenting, Progression, Relationships, Venting | Tags: | Permalink