Tag Archives: fiona

My Kids

My sister is going back to work tomorrow, after a six-month maternity leave. It gives me flashbacks to when I went back to work after Scarlett was born. I had a very leisurely seven-month leave, and when it was over, I worked from home in my dining room, while my sister took over as Scarlett’s nanny and best friend.

Right now my parents are in town to help with the transition period, before my sister has to hire someone to take care of her two kids while she works. I wish it could be me. I would love to have that time with my niece, the way my sister had with Scarlett, to bond and play and snuggle. I want to be my niece’s favorite aunt, but how is that possible when I can’t even pick her up? I remind myself that my 4-year-old nephew hardly cares at all that I’m in a wheelchair, only noticing really that it’s cool because he gets to ride in it. He was born one month after I was diagnosed with ALS, and he’s never known me any differently.

So I won’t be the nanny, and I won’t be the aunt who picks them up and swings them around, who bakes with them and plays soccer and all the things that I would like to do both with my own child and with these two children who I feel are nearly mine. I’m not exactly sad about it. I’m so used to the situation by now, that it just feels natural to sit in my chair while someone brings the baby to me so that I can kiss her. My nephew puckers his lips and stands by the side of my chair for his kiss. I’m in a wheelchair. For the rest of my family, it’s surreal. For these three kids, it’s totally normal. Read More>

My Fiona

She’s here, she’s here, my little niece is here! My rockstar sister brought her into the world on Saturday morning, and she has spent the last five days being perfect. Please, just look at this face.

Fiona

Her name is Fiona Catherine, and I’m allowed to call her Fee, but not Fifi.

So, naturally…

“Come, Fifi,” I say in an important voice, whenever anyone offers to put her on my lap. As if we are off to the country club to meet her friends Binky and Peroxide. As if we are having tea with the Queen.

“Fifi makes her sound like a dog,” my sister complains. But this is not a good argument for me, because my own daughter’s nickname is Scout, and although we were thinking Scout Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird, it turns out to be a very doggy kind of name.

The week after Scarlett was born, my grandmother called to tell me that not one, but two sitcoms she had watched that night featured dogs named Scout. She cackled into the phone and hung up. Read More>