It is Day Four in San FrancIsco without Scarlett. In many ways, I’m doing better than I thought I would be. I’ve been sleeping in, which never happens when the small human is present. And Rob and I have been having very mellow evenings, with no one popping out of bed 17 times because they “have to pee/get water/hug Otto/learn how the BiPAP works/look in the refrigerator and consider the following day’s breakfast.”

We’ve even been able to watch HBO’s The Defiant Ones at a volume loud enough to hear, without worrying about a little voice calling from bed, “What are you watching? Did that person just say fuck? Why did he say fuck?” And you know the answer “Because he’s Dr. Dre.” probably won’t suffice.

Parents who are smarter than me, and there are many of you out there, probably already knew that having your kid away for a week can be relaxing. I have intense moments of missing Scarlett, and a couple of nights I’ve had dreams that she is a toddler and we are dancing together, buzzing like bees inside a preschool room that I have never seen in real life. I wake up desperate to hold her. But there is stress relief in knowing that your child is well taken care of, and that the responsibility for her resides entirely with someone else, if just for a few days. I have, for example, not even considered grocery shopping. Read More>