The dog had been in our possession for four days. He was small and cuddly, and peed wherever he felt like it. Every morning, sometimes as early as 4:45, he would whine to let us know he was ready for the day to start. It was time to take him to the vet, to get him vaccinated, the goal being that he could eventually graduate from the backyard, run around in the real world, tire himself out and maybe sleep until 6:30am.

Rob was working, so the vet visit was up to me. My assistant Rochelle, Scarlett, Otto and I got into the mobility van and set out on our mission. I was feeling short of breath, still not far enough away from my ICU visit to be purely comfortable in the great outdoors, and looking forward to my new anti-anxiety medication kicking in.

It did kick in, somewhere in the middle of the appointment, and I began to feel my personality returning. The visit itself was uneventful, except that obviously Otto peed on the floor.

When we got back to the car, there was a ticket on the window. Rochelle picked it up and handed it to me. $875 for parking in a handicapped spot with an expired placard. Unbeknownst to me, the placard had expired on June 30. It was July 15.

If you have a permanent parking placard, there is supposedly nothing you need to do but wait for a new one to arrive when the old one expires. But nothing had come in the mail, and I hadn’t even noticed. I don’t think about the parking placard very often. I drive around in a mobility vehicle, with a wheelchair and hands that can’t even reach up to greet a friend or new acquaintance. I was relying on the efficiency of the DMV. Cue insane laughter.

We went home and I stared at the ticket. It felt like an insult. Obviously an officer had placed it on the mobility van. Who the hell would be driving that thing if they didn’t have to? Read More>