I have a love/hate relationship with my to-do list. If it’s very long and contains complicated phrases like “call allergist for Scarlett” or “deal with insurance”, I feel a little heaviness inside, that weight of obligation. But as I cruise through the items, it’s a great feeling to check them off, to know that I’ve accomplished something.
Like most people, I tend to get more done when I’m busy. It’s so easy to ignore a tiny amount of work, and instead start rabidly watching season six of Pretty Little Liars on Amazon Prime. I mean, I’m not saying I did that yesterday, but I’m sure someone somewhere did. And I just want to make sure you know it was not me.
There’s a story from my college days that illustrates what happens to me when I’m not busy enough. I was taking a Zoology class on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. The class began at 11 AM, a perfectly reasonable hour even for a carbo-coma college student who mainly subsisted on bagels and Papa John’s breadsticks. Class was across campus, so I had to ride my bike, but it was a straight shot from my dorm, and nothing to complain about.
Except here’s the thing about that class. It was my only one on those days. I had nowhere else to be, nothing else to do but work on procuring more bagels. [In case anyone thinks “bagels” is like a code word for something, it’s not. I just really liked bread.]
So the to-do list said “Go to class” and I just couldn’t do it. It’s embarrassing, as it was probably a very interesting class and I’m sure I could have learned something. But as my sole daily task, I simply didn’t find it motivational. And the professor, who probably wasn’t sure I existed, clearly didn’t find me very impressive. I got a D, my first and only. I think I should consider myself lucky.
After that, I loaded up my days, and started getting a lot of As. At one point I was working three jobs, taking 16 credits, and acing everything. I’m not trying to pat myself on the back here, just highlighting the fact that the Zoology slacker and the sudden study fiend were one and the same. The only difference: once you start, it’s easier to keep going.
I see that same pattern in my days at home with progressive ALS. I get up every morning by 7am, to do my part in helping get Scarlett out the door. But once she and Rob are gone, the day unfolds before me, a series of hours that I can either fill with activities that will make me feel good about myself or activities that will make me feel like a sick person who doesn’t leave the house and maybe sometimes watches shows designed for 17-year-olds. Sometimes.
This means that my to-do list is critical to my happiness. Right now, it tells me that I have #whatwouldyougive posters to send, that I owe my grandma a call, that there are medical bills to pay, that I’d like to write another article for a major publication. It says “blog.” I have a conference call, social worker visit, and friend visit later today. I’ve started my work, and it feels productive.
I was probably never going to be a Zoologist. But I certainly didn’t give myself the chance. These days if my to-do list ever has only one item on it, I add 5 more and start plugging away. I need that feeling of accomplishment, that knowledge that I’m still alive and I’m still showing up. Even if I’m no longer being graded for my efforts.
**My article in Redbook Magazine is online here.**
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Guess what – to all your many readers you are very much alive and extremely productive. Make sure if you need items to list you always add on blogged a new thought and made dozens if not hundreds of people feel better about life and what you and they do. Few people can record that accomplishment as often as you can.
xoxo Bob. Thank you.
Sara, you made my day and inspired me to attack my to do list!
Your post actually made me laugh today Sarah. It brought back a college memory of my own. It seems that you and I mirror each other… You with your Zoology class and me with my Astronomy class — and our use of a daily To Do List. I almost kicked butt today! Almost…
I agree with Bob! You can always post to your blog and your readers will be grateful for the read. As well it is reassurance that life goes on and you are giving this damn ALS the fight of all fights. I for one love love love your writing and enthusiasm for writing! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
16 credits and 3 jobs?! holy amazeballs!
xx,
H
I think I speak for all readers of this blog by saying that you get an “A+” for your writing. I hope you publish all these entries someday. The Colmans miss you, Rob and Scout. Hopefully we can come visit soon.
Chris
Sarah,
Thanks for the blog. I was just feeling overwhelmed might I might do list reminded why you can help keep you focused on what’s important.
Thanks for writing and sharing.
Miss you guys!! xo
Sarah,
I love your writing. I do not read other blogs and really cannot remember how I ever landed on yours. I do not have a connection to ALS, and I do not know you. I simply look forward to, and enjoy, your posts – as a Mom.
Your article in Redbook was fabulous. Perhaps a day or two watching teen based t.v. will lead to a spot in Seventeen Magazine!
Thank you for sharing your writing and personal stories.
Cheryl
Oh, I love this, Cheryl. Thank you!
My secret with to do lists, I always write down one to two things you already accomplished yesterday so then as soon as you get to the bottom of making the list you can immediately cross off what you got done yesterday. No matter how the day unfolds you got one done !!!! Jay always says that is cheating but it makes me feel better.
PS- I can totally hook you up with binge TV created for 17 year olds.. lets chat.
XOXO
Missy
Your article in Redbook was so touching and I enjoyed it so much. I do not live in the US but got it on line. It brought so many memories of a sad time for me. Thank you for writing and sharing . My best to you..
This is brilliant.
I love your dry sense of humor- quite the east coast wit (preferably NY/NJ)!!! I normally have zero interest in reading blogs and I really enjoy reading this.. love your positive yet realistic ( amd honest) outlook. stay positive and have faith.
Your story is intriguing and its far from over- you are too spicy to let that happen..
You are in my thoughts and prayers ( even if we dont knwo eachother).
Stephanie