Monthly Archives: August 2015

Vacation

You want to know what’s not relaxing? Vacation, for Rob. To be fair, vacation for anyone with children cannot be described as relaxing, as these little bundles of energy tend to get up early, ask for things like food, and then want you to watch them and take care of them all day. So it’s just like being at home, but without most of your stuff.

Of course, we have some added stressors, as everyone who reads this blog is more than well aware. I’m sure Rob could have a truly lovely vacation, if he would just travel alone. But instead he brought a puppy, a five-year-old, and his increasingly disabled wife. Not his smartest decision. Not a recipe for sleeping in (or even sleeping through the night.)

You know your situation is unusual when the five-year-old is the second most self-reliant person in the family, and the 12-week-old puppy is handling himself pretty well, too. Sigh. I am the weakest link.

For example, both Scarlett and Otto can at least feed themselves. When Rob finally settles down by the pool to enjoy a sandwich, he has to balance his own food intake with mine. This is a completely new development, and it’s sort of unfortunate that it began when all of our meals are on display. I keep my attention on our table at each restaurant, quietly wondering what other people are thinking of our performance. Maybe they just think we’re really in love? I doubt it, and I don’t care that much (less so every time), but I do wish my husband could enjoy a meal without having to help me enjoy mine. Read More>

|Categories: Life, Parenting, Relationships | Tags: , | Permalink

Into the Woods

Getting ready for vacation is so much different than it used to be. Rob, Scarlett, Otto and I are in Calistoga for the week, a nice drive less than two hours from our house. In short, the perfect,  easy summer trip. But here is a snapshot of our family getting ready this morning:

My sister is over to help me shower. Rob is loading medical devices into the mobility van. Scarlett and her cousin Jack are reading together on the couch, until reading turns into kicking, which turns into yelling, which turns into falling on the floor, which somehow turns into doing a puzzle together. Otto takes this opportunity to climb onto a piece of furniture that is not dog approved. I notice, but say nothing. I am annoyed at my helplessness, my inability to get this act together. The prep takes hours, even though Scarlett packed her own bag, and my assistant set out all my clothes the day before.

My sister cleans out the fridge, and then helps me pack my medicine and a bag of makeup that will never grace my face. But why not bring it? Then we’re finally in the car, looking once again like the Beverly Hillbillies. Read More>

|Categories: Life, Progression, Relationships | Tags: , | Permalink

Here Comes the Sun

It’s a dreary morning in my head and out my window. The sky is so white with fog that I feel like I’m trapped inside a snow globe. Our outdoor furniture is dirty, the white chairs leaning against a red table, water drifting down their backs in slimy lines that pool at the bottom and speckle the chairs black. San Francisco summer.

It hasn’t been like this every day. Usually, the sun pops through, and turns the yard into a griddle, but I never wear sunscreen because I just feel like I have bigger things to concern myself with. So most days I sit  outside and sizzle my face a little more and try to meditate without concentrating on how shallow my breathing has become.

But on a wet and cloudy day, there are just windows for watchers, and that’s what I am. I can see seagulls flying over the ocean. I can see Otto pacing back and forth on the deck, head down sniffing at something through the wooden boards. When he sees me watching, he comes to beg at the door,  but there’s nothing I can do for him, and he wanders away.

The gloomy day either fits my gloomy mood or is the cause of it. It’s one of those days when Rob and Scarlett walked out the door and I felt like I had nothing left. Don’t feel sorry for me: first of all, I hate that, and second, I’m halfway through a cup of tea and I’m pretty sure there’s an attitude adjustment lying at the bottom of it. Read More>

|Categories: Life, Meditation, Venting | Tags: , , | Permalink