Category Archives: Life

Actions and Reactions

Rob’s new bike arrived this past weekend, and the weather did not comply with his desire to get out and test it. He said more than once, to me and to other people, “I can’t believe I’m just getting my bike and now the weather is so bad I can’t even ride it.”

I understood what he was saying, but it brought up a feeling that I get from time to time when people say things to me or in front of me that underscore my disability. The struggle I go through when this happens is to wonder whether I am being oversensitive or they are being at least slightly insensitive. I have more examples: the friend who told me she was so tired of sitting on a particular morning that she was going to stand for the rest of the day and make sure she walked around a lot. The friend who made dinner in my kitchen and went on and on and on about how fun it was to cook and particularly in my kitchen, with its counter space and great appliances.

There’s a big part of me that wants to laud these women for feeling so comfortable, and for maybe not seeing me as disabled when they said these things. However, I have to admit that in the moment, I was annoyed. You’ve been sitting all morning? I’ve been sitting for three years. You love love love cooking in my kitchen? I’ve never done that. Read More>

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Just Add Mom

Scarlett and I have been watching a new show called Just Add Magic. It was recommended by a friend at school, and it seems my daughter is learning the concept of binge watching. We do three episodes in a row, and they’re only 25 minutes long, but still, when one ends we look at each other with that look that all obsessive television viewers know, the one that says “should we do another yes we should do another let’s do another right now.” The show is about three 12-year-old girls who discover a magic cookbook. It is awesome.

On Friday, while we were watching, we opened a bag of chips and Scarlett fed herself and me. I’m not a big person, but I can take down tortilla chips like someone three times my size, so it’s pretty frustrating to not be able to just do it by myself. Every five seconds, I was saying “chip please,” which quickly changed to just “chip” so that I wouldn’t interrupt the show quite as much. Finally Scarlett got annoyed with my constant chipping. “Stop saying that,” she ordered, stuffing two triangular blue chips into her mouth.

“Well, I’m hungry,” I said. “What do you want me to say?” Read More>

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Say Hello To My Little Friend

Rob’s bike was recently stolen out of our garage. We’re not sure exactly how the thieves got in, but they took two bikes and nothing else. We’ve had people ransack our car numerous times, and when our front door handle broke a couple of weeks ago, the locksmith told us it was because someone had tried “really really hard” to get into the house. Fortunately, the door – – which is a lovely shade of blue called New York State Of Mind – – held strong.

Last week, a group of squatters was arrested in an abandoned house a few doors down. My friend Jay Smith of  Every 90 Minutes fame asked me if these were hippie squatters or crackhead squatters. Hippie squatters, he suggested, could be cool. Potentially fun to hang out with. Sadly, I think ours were of the crackhead variety. And suddenly, my beautiful green San Francisco neighborhood is not feeling so safe.

All of this happened while Rob was in New York, and when I called to tell him about the door, it was clear that he didn’t quite understand things from my point of view. I’m in a wheelchair. I can’t even open a door, and I certainly couldn’t do anything to deter a break-in. The idea that I couldn’t keep my daughter safe if I needed to had me feeling very uncomfortable.

“But the door worked,” said Rob. Read More>

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