Category Archives: Vanity

Wising Up

Rob is out of town again. It should be fine, since he barely travels for work anymore, but even once a month makes me anxious. I think it’s more the build-up to the trip that I dread than the trip itself. It’s easier when he’s here, because we have an understanding, a way of managing my illness, our daughter, our schedules. When he’s gone, I worry that it will all fall apart. But it never does. I have plenty of help, including family who traveled to be here this week.

Last night, Scarlett climbed into my bed. “Daddy isn’t here and I get to sleep with you!” She had the beginnings of a cold all day, but it wasn’t until night that they blossomed into full-on congested coughs, snorts and sneezes. Neither of us slept, and now she’s home from school, watching My Little Pony: Equestria Girl. As an aside: this movie is TERRIBLE. I tried to turn it off, but she begged to keep watching and I gave in. It’s 9:30am, we’ve already read six books and had a dance party (she spun, I laughed.) About an hour ago, I began to wonder why I didn’t just send her to school. Then she started hacking in my face, and I remembered. Read More>

|Categories: Age, Life, Parenting, Progression, Vanity, Venting | Tags: , , , | Permalink

Being Someone Else

When Rob and I lived in New York, I walked to work. It took me about 20 minutes to get to my job at a Manhattan publishing house, something that sounds so glamorous when you write it, and actually was occasionally that way. Picturing myself walking across town on 23rd Street in heels is like recalling a movie I’ve watched over and over again (something besides Wayne’s World.) Could that have been me?

I would likely have these disconnected feelings about that time even if I didn’t have ALS. After all, so much has changed. We moved to California, I worked from home in yoga pants and had a baby. I started hanging out at playgrounds and speaking knowledgeably—even passionately!—about Music Together and tumbling classes. Heel wearing had declined considerably long before I started tripping over my own feet.

But back when I first moved to New York, it was November 2005, and the staff at my company was working on a book due to launch the following year. Read More>

|Categories: Life, Parenting, Progression, Relationships, Vanity | Tags: , , , | Permalink

Road Trip

Our drive to Lake Tahoe last week started off well enough. We had snacks. Traffic was decent. Scarlett even fell asleep, and, once we wrestled her out of the bike helmet she had insisted on wearing, she seemed fairly comfortable. Until she woke up an hour later, screaming, “I’M TOO HOT!”

The AC was on and we were doing 80 on the freeway—Rob considers speed limits a suggestion—so her request that we roll the windows down “RIGHT NOW!” was denied. Plus it was 100 degrees outside. We explained to her that she might feel better if she took her shoes off, and we aimed several vents in her direction. She was not remotely pacified, and she handled it like a frustrated four-year-old, kicking and throwing things. Very unsafe behavior for highway driving. By the time we were able to pull off the road and into a gas station, Rob was furious. He pulled her out of the car and set her down on the ground, where she took off all of her clothes, and continued throwing a fit. Read More>

|Categories: Life, Parenting, Relationships, Vanity, Venting | Tags: , , , , | Permalink