In honor of International Women’s Day, Scarlett made a piece of art in class depicting her “She-ro.” Spoiler alert: It was me! I was extremely flattered, though a little confused because the text under her drawing explained that she is mainly impressed by me because I was brave enough to attend my own wedding.

I’m glad she’s proud of me, but I had to tell her that I wasn’t scared to get married, that it was something I wanted to do. Still, I did use the whole thing against Rob for a little while, enjoying the idea that his daughter thought it took a great deal of courage to marry him.

I don’t find myself feeling fearful very often. Sad, angry, frustrated: those are all emotions that I’ve described in detail on this blog. But I try very hard not to spend my time feeling scared, telling myself that it doesn’t help anything. That logic works for me more often than you’d think it would. I suppose this might be the result of my anti-anxiety pills, but I don’t actually take very many of those. Just enough to get me to my first glass of wine, and then it’s smooth sailing. That’s a joke! It’s not smooth sailing at all, just ask Rob. Don’t look him directly in the eyes, though, he’s terrifying and that’s why it was so gutsy of me to become his wife.

I’m going to see how long I can keep this joke going. Although if it seems like I’m making fun of Scarlett and her sweet tribute, please know that’s not the case.

The other interesting thing about Scarlett’s artwork was that it showed me in a wheelchair, which I don’t often see in her drawings. So you would think that scrolling through the images the teacher posted online, I would have known exactly which one was hers, even though it didn’t have her name on it. But I wasn’t sure. Maybe it was supposed to be a stroller? Plus there is the issue of historical accuracy, as I was not in a wheelchair when I heroically faced Rob at the altar (aka Turtle Pond in Central Park, one of the more frightening places known to man.)

In her every day life, Scarlett has occasion to meet many She-ros. Her teachers are women, my assistants are women. We are surrounded by female friends who are forces of nature, and Rob and I both come from families full of strong women. Their compassion, intelligence, and energy all provide lessons for her, I hope, on how to make her way through the world.

In school, she is studying women like Jane Goodall, Malala Yousafzai, Susan B. Anthony, and Sonya Sotomayor. Their success, particularly in the face of adversity, can teach her about perseverance, about self-esteem, about fighting for something that is bigger than you.

And I will take my place on the list: as her mom, as someone living with a gnarly disease, as someone who woke up this morning and put a smile on my face even though things are not easy. I happen to know a lot of women who do that, with and without ALS, with and without kids. I don’t feel particularly brave. I just feel like I’m living my life and doing the best I can. Drinking the wine and laughing the laughs.

For the record, the day of my wedding I woke up with butterflies, and went out to buy orange juice, because I wasn’t sure what else to do with myself. I don’t even drink orange juice. I spent the day getting ready, did my own makeup (a foolish decision), and met Rob at the entrance to the park. We walked in together, excited, but not scared. It was one of the best days of my life.

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