Tag Archives: rob

Good Listening

Scarlett’s school fundraiser was on Saturday night. It was a beautiful event, and a smashing success, thanks to the efforts of so many people. Two days before the party, I came down with a little cold, and by the time Rob and I arrived at the venue, I had almost no voice. So there I was, in a loud room of 400 people, without a great way to communicate. And it made me think about ALS. I was in a wheelchair, my hands weak enough that Rob had to cut my food for me at our table, and to top it off, I couldn’t talk. This is the reality for many people with ALS, all day, every day.

I thought about my friends who say that ALS is destroying their intimacy with their spouses, their ability to parent their children, their social lives. We can—and we do—make the best of it. But at its core, ALS is a disease that seeks to destroy our relationships with other people. It’s a cruel and isolating illness. That night at the party, I was ok. I knew my voice was coming back, and I could still summon up a whisper to get short thoughts across. As I said to a friend that night, I love talking (“Oh really?” she joked. “I hadn’t noticed!”), but taking a night off from it was illuminating.

It’s highly likely that I talk too much. And it was interesting to just listen, to hear what people say to a person who is pretty much just smiling and nodding. But it was also frustrating. I have comments. I have stories. I have jokes!! That night, I relied on a whisper that was still sometimes too low to be heard, which is why Rob almost lost a bunch of money during the live auction portion of the evening. Read More>

Blogger Girl

I’ve been blogging since 2007. That’s the year I started Deepish Thoughts, a site to keep friends and family up to date on my life, as well as on the bizarre and hilarious things Rob said. Which were many. When Scarlett was born in 2010, I shifted my attention to The Scarlett Letters, where I posted pictures and wrote to her about her life. And now, obviously, I’ve moved here to record my thoughts and experiences living with ALS.

I can’t keep up with two blogs, let alone three, so each time a new blog is introduced, an old one gets ignored. Or, let’s say it gets its wings, because that just sounds nicer. The blogs mark everything significant that has happened in my life over the course of more than seven years. Engagement, marriage, cross-country move, baby. The death of my beloved Papa, my dear brother-in-law, and several pets. It’s just a life, like any other. But I’m glad, now more than ever, that I chronicled it.

My story, with its unexpected trajectory, might make some people sad. But not me. I look back at those old posts and sometimes I just laugh. As I read about the traveling I’ve done, I find that I’m not mourning the loss of my abilities. Instead, I’m feeling insanely lucky to have seen so many different places. It appears that my past—at least the past I’ve chosen to document, and this is an important distinction—makes me happy. Though I’m not proud of all of it. Read More>

That Time I Was Psychic

I was 26 and working for a book publishing company just outside of San Francisco. My job in marketing meant that I met with advertisers occasionally. Unfortunately for the ad reps, we had such small budgets for each book that we never really spent money, except maybe once or twice a year in the largest industry magazines. One of those magazines had just hired a new publisher, and he was doing the rounds of all the publishing houses in New York and California, meeting the important people who made decisions. And also meeting me.

When Rob walked into my office for the first time, he was wearing a suit and tie, something that no one wore there ever. Bay Area publishing? We were lucky if people had real shoes on. Read More>