Category Archives: Parenting

Dictation and the Gift of Failure

I skipped my Thursday blog post this week, and I don’t really have an excuse. Actually, that’s not true. I do have one excuse, which is that my dictation software is such a pain in the ass that everything I’ve written so far is wrong and I have to go back and correct it. I should just leave it the way that it is so that you can see how little my computer understands my very clear speech patterns, but I wouldn’t do that to you because it would be like reading the inside of my dog’s brain. Literally none of these words make sense together.

Ah. Now they are corrected and I feel much better. But my hands are tired.

The other reason I didn’t blog yesterday is that I spent the morning at scoreless (Scarlett’s!) school instead of writing. The writer and educator Jessica Lahey was there to talk about her new book, the New York Times bestseller The Gift of Failure. The book focuses on how to foster resilience in kids through intrinsic motivation. I found her presentation illuminating for a lot of reasons, mainly because at the moment I feel like I am exclusively focused on parenting through extrinsic motivation. As in punishment and reward. As in get dressed for school or you cannot use my iPad. As in stop abusing the dog or there will not be a play date tomorrow. As in dear god please acknowledge my existence and the fact that I’m talking to you and I will probably give you a popsicle. Read More>

|Categories: Life, Parenting, Relationships | Tags: , , , , , | Permalink

The Way Things Are

As a family, our morning routine needs work. Yesterday was the first day of kindergarten, and despite our efforts to arrive early, we did not even manage to arrive on time. Scarlett wears a uniform, I had planned quick and easy breakfast options, Rob was up early to shower. But it didn’t matter, because, not to be dramatic, everything takes us forever.

Today we actually had to wake Scarlett up for school. This child has never had to be woken up for anything, but we were told that kindergarten can be exhausting, and that appears to be a true story. She rolled around for a few minutes before springing out of bed, ready for another day. Oh, to wake up like that. She then proceeded to eat two pieces of toast and a banana as though it were a three course meal that she was reviewing for The New York Times, by which I mean sloooowly. I know we’ll get the hang of this, and I really don’t want to stress her out, but watching someone get ready at a snail’s pace turns out to be one of my least favorite things.

On the plus side, the first day of kindergarten was fantastic. She may have been the last kid in the class, but it was a mellow morning and no one seemed to mind. It was a half day, only three hours long, and Rob and I attended a parent orientation meeting after dropping her off. I spent the rest of the morning sitting outside, getting to know other parents, before it was time for early pickup. Scarlett was disappointed when it was time to leave, which I consider a very good sign.

Chatting with the other moms and dads felt so normal. I really liked everyone and I felt like we were going to be part of a great community. As we left, I was tired but definitely in high spirits. Things are good.

But things are hard, too. Read More>

|Categories: Life, Parenting, Progression, Relationships, Vanity | Tags: , , | Permalink

#whatwouldyougive 2015

My daughter starts Kindergarten on Wednesday. She’ll be at this school for the next nine years of her life. I’ll drop her off on her first day, take her to her classroom, kiss her goodbye. I’ll watch her as she takes this big, brave step, meets new friends, and finds a space for herself. And I’ll think about the day, nine years from now, when she finishes her last year at the school. I’ll think about how I should be there to pick her up that day. How much I want to be there.

This weekend we went to the wine country wedding of our dear friends. I watched my daughter dance, watched her chat comfortably with other guests, watched her insert herself into formal wedding photos with the bride and groom. I watched as she ate a cupcake, and a cookie, and then wandered off to find the donuts she’d been hearing about. I thought about all the big days in her future, how maybe one of them will be a wedding. How much I’d love to be there.

I love watching my daughter. I love to see her learn and grow and do ridiculous things followed by remarkable things. Being there for her, in moments big and small, is all I want in the world.

And it’s why I started the #whatwouldyougive campaign. I can’t adequately express my gratitude to all of the team members who challenged themselves by giving up an ability to raise money for and awareness of this cause. You have no idea what your support has meant to me. All I can say is thank you. And that you are some *seriously* impressive fundraisers.

It’s the last day to donate, and so many of you already have. Thank you. Your generosity wildly exceeded my expectations. Thank you for caring about our lives, and the lives of all the people dealing with ALS. Someday this disease will no longer be allowed to destroy families. Someday, maybe, I’ll see my little girl walk into high school. Someday, maybe, I’ll dance with her again. I hope so.

Donate here.

|Categories: Cure, Drugs, Life, Parenting, Research | Tags: | Permalink